Heartbreaks!! It’s alright…it’s not “broken”… :)

I will try and advise, as per the best that I know and have experienced, on how one can deal with a broken heart. First up, most probably crying is what is coming out of you; do it. Go ahead and cry, cry a lot. Let it all out; it’s cleansing. But once you empty yourself out, then that is it. Tell yourself, looking into a mirror if you would, that you will try and not cry anymore. Tell yourself, that feeling hurt and thus crying is a natural outcome of something that you have gone through.

Start with taking deep, rejuvenating breaths. Straighten your spine (also symbolically lifting your spirits), and breath in, slowly filling your lungs imagining fresh, lightness filling your being. Hold for just a moment, and then let go. Deeply, through the nose, not pushing, but just letting go.

1. Tell yourself that a broken heart, obviously, is a psychological state, cos’ of course the heart does not break; it is flesh and blood and still beating, the reason that you are alive and well enough to be reading this. A lot of times we start flowing with the river of tears and disappointing, saddening thoughts, and end up going too far. Telling yourself simple, logical facts like these could help in staying close to the edge, to solidity and strength.

Take a (or more, if you feel like it) deep, rejuvenating breath.

2. Get out of that moment. Try and look at the bigger picture; your larger life. A few years, or months that you were with that person could not possibly compare with your whole life. Think of what you were doing before you met that person; think of all the happy moments. Your family, your friends…. And then think of all the things you will, you can, do now, after that person. Start planning, and looking forward to life, a new life.

Think about your life, not your life with that person who is not there anymore. Get serious about your life and tell yourself that you are worth it. You ARE worth it, and your time, your moments are too precious to while away crying and thinking about things that were never meant to be.

Take a (or more, if you feel like it) deep, rejuvenating breath.

3. Think about what happened; analyse it. If the separation happened due to death, or something one has no control over, then give yourself time. Time is the best healer, like they all say; it’s true. Get up, and try and get busy doing something, anything. Stitch, embroider, sing, play, make pots, paint,…anything. Don’t give up.

But if the other person simply left, or opted out, then you have to see and understand that well, it wasn’t, isn’t, meant to be. A relationship is a mutual agreement (over anything, or nothing) between two (or more) people. It is not, it should not, be binding in anyway. It is not a jail term. Promises, especially in romantic relationships, are made under certain (special) circumstances. A lot of times, the sheer novelty of it, the rush of those warm emotions when you’ve just met and it is all oh so new and nice takes us places where we would not go normally, and we end up committing to things that for certain individuals could prove to be a bit much. And when, after a while, when our systems return to normal and we gauge the extent to which we have gone away from what we deem as normal in us, we start to pull away. At such times, one needs to be a bit understanding. Give the other person some space.

If they decide to leave eventually, let them. Don’t try and make them stay, or argue or discuss. Please know, that you deserve the best. And the best for you is the one who has no doubt at all about being with you. If there is any doubts in their heart and you manage to make them stay, it’s just going to cause more damage and heartache in the future, to both of you. Let them go…Rather it’s good that they left. If they were staying with you and were not there a 100%, they were completely wasting your time, and your precious emotions. Definitely let them go.

Take a new hobby, or an old one. Go for that long bike ride you had been wanting to go on for so long; or a movie marathon weekend; or a trip to hill-station or that beach; or those yoga classes; or that perfect weekend with perfect strangers. 🙂

Take a (or more, if you feel like it) deep, rejuvenating breath.

4. SMILE!! Even if you have to force it initially. Smile. Smile at everyone, at everything. That uncle, that auntie, that dog, that tree, those flowers, esp the flowers…they smile back, always. Smile and get up. Move that ass. Take a bus, or a train. Buy a li’l camera and click a few pictures.

Take a (or more, if you feel like it) deep, rejuvenating breath.

5. TALK…about it. Empty out your heart. If you are not comfortable talking about it, then write about it, or about it to yourself.

Take a (or more, if you feel like it) deep, rejuvenating breath.

A new door has opened for you. A lot of new doors have opened for you. Smile, think about all the possibilities. You are at the railway station now, or airport if you will. Catch the next flight, a new train. Don’t look back. Leave behind that heavy baggage. Take along just the beautiful memories, lessons learnt.

It hasn’t broken, your heart. Might just feel like it has. But it’s fine, it’s all fine.

Take a (or more, if you feel like it) deep, rejuvenating breath. And smile.. 🙂

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